Final Year

Assalam

As enthusiast as a final year students should be, I'm absolutely differ than I should be. 

The class already started more a less a week. But, the feeling hasn't reach me yet, already postponed my flight to another 2 weeks to gather my thoughts and strength all together.

I'm mostly worrying about the kids thing and ttc things. *sigh*

So, am really not in the mood for studies just yet after I know everything is fine.

E already made an appointment with the O&G specialist at KJMC this Saturday.

I'm really praying that everything is fine and normal as a  normal person should be, and it just the matter of blessing from Allah S.W.T with kids and our efforts. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin. 

Insha Allah.

Frankly, I'm afraid. 

Absolute afraid that something wrong with me. 

Ya Allah, please grant me the strength and sabr and keep away the bad things from me. Amin.

 Praying hard so. 

As a women and a wife,

 I bet you understand that not being able to give kids to your spouse is the hardest feeling ever. 

I'm thinking till the extend of giving him permission to marry another one. 

But, just the mere thoughts of it, torn my heart apart, and it does really hurt.

Crying while watching him sleeping soundly and the thoughts came, Ya Allah, only He knows how hurts it is and painful it is to me.

I guess the wifey-thing overwhelmed me more than my role as a student.

Please 1000x pray for me peeps, whoever you are, wherever you are. 

Bismillah that everything will be just fine and Allah ease it for me.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Till then, daaaaa

Waalaikumussalam.

Husnul Khatimah

Hi, guys. Well. Not like people will read this. But, this is somehow has become my own diary.

Want to write about this yesterday. But, the internet got really slow and I'm better fast asleep to not miss subuh next morning. Yeay!! I did it. Alhamdulillah.

Last night, before falling asleep. I came across a post about final year med's student in Moscow who's been involved in fire about few days or last week, I'm not sure. 

She died of complications of burns and CO poisoning. Al-Fatihah.

Her friends post about how she had been managed her life though living in very modern and non-islamic country. But,manage to maintain her path on our deen.

I got an inspiration about it. 

She died beautifully. Masha Allah. May she get the righteous place next to Him.

This real than ever, death may comes at any times to us. We should be preparing for it concomitantly as we're living in this world.

Some people says, you can't get others without sacrifice others. But, in this topic. We as a Muslim should know how to balance all this. And, the way is being in a considerable position.

This means not too occupied with works till you'll neglect your solah and other sunah things as a Muslim.

And, as a Muslim till become sooo fanatic in deen till you left out your parents and your family.

Did you get this?? I hope you do.

I hope and pray. I may face death beautifully without having any regrets. The only regrets I will have is no more time for me anymore to please Our Lord, The creator.

Let's work on it simultaneously as we live for this world.

Doing good, would only bring good to us. It maybe now or later. Because He is The Most Knowledgeable of all.