Sleepless Night

I've lost count of how many nights that I may get a nice and deep sleep.

Ever since, I'm back in Egypt last winter break. I've been having trouble sleeping. Most of the times due to over-thinking, which I try to avoid. But, the thoughts keep on creeping in.

Especially, the thoughts of missing E. This is so unbearable guys.

Not that, I hate LDR, nor that I'm against His plan for me. But, I admit it's so hard. And I've been failing lots of time, trying to endure and acts like nothing.

As you know, I'm not surround by married people, most of my friends are single here studying. So, I'm having trouble faking that I'm ok to them. Well, they might think it is too cliche' if I told them what I've been through, what I feel because they might not understand it.

Every nights, trying to get to sleep means I'm encounter  a battle with myself, contemplating between studying to fill up the time I waste on bed trying to sleep. But then, I read few pages, yawn came. The routine rotate till I fell asleep. 

Alarm knocked on my ears, shut it off and realized, I'm not having enough sleep, only sleep for couple hours means insufficient energy to go to class. *sigh

Deep regret I had here. Every time. Each morning.

The biggest obstacle right now is myself. None other. May Allah ease me with strength from Him if this, me being here is the best for me to Him. Ya Allah The Exalted, I pray for strength to be able to endure this, patience to go through all this, and Your Guidance of what is better for me, grant me wisdom and knowledge in studies especially Ya Allah, for which all this from You. Amin.